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Society and the Affair
thoughts by Tigress Luv

Are affairs more common today than they were when our parents and grandparents were married, or are we just more open, gossipy, or fascinated with sex today then we were then? Are we more influenced today by media sensationalism, faltering morals, baring our all on talk shows, and lowered values demeaning the word 'commitment' and 'love'? Or are we just more 'open' about infidelity?

Today's society definitely has little to offer in the field of morals and sexual discretion. Just about every show, movie, or commercial you watch are filled with enticing hard bodies scantily clad in clinging, sexy, and revealing fashion. Even music videos have sexual undertones with flesh-revealing stars gyrating seductively to the beat. The subject of sex, and models chosen for their enticing provocative bodies are constantly being forced in our faces via the television in our living rooms, the pages in our magazines, the movies we see, the world wide web, the words to our music, the books we read, and gossip tabloids. It's all about sex. So then can we really blame someone for having an affair after they have been repeatedly teased, tantalized, and titillated? Yes, maybe we haven't given into it ourselves, but did we have the actual opportunity? Did we opt to remain faithful because we wanted to feel like self-righteous martyrs? Because we feared getting caught? We feared disease? We feared getting emotionally attached to our lover? Or are we hypocrites that claim marriage and sex is 'sacred', let we had numerous sexual partners and liaisons before we married? Are we only being moral, because we don't want our partners to cheat back? Are we faithful simply because we don't want our partners to leave us? Or are we faithful because we love and honor our partners? Yes, we want to believe that we love and honor our mates, but is that all there is to our faithfulness? Do we honor our vows? What about religious influences? And why is sex outside a marriage a sin, yet sex without marriage is acceptable?

This article is not offered in defense of the cheater. Even in the grandest of temptation, most thinking moral people would say,

"No. This is wrong."

Still affairs are sensationalized by the media, by office gossip, by tabloids, by movies, by television, by books, and by music. Often, too, adultery is glorified - just look at the book and movie, The Bridges of Madison County. The whole country stood in fascination and attendance focusing on ex-President Clinton's words. Was it that fascinating? A disgusting little fling, or human error? No matter what our opinion, there we stood, entranced by what transpired. We have become a country, a nation - a world - obsessed with sex. What once was private and sacred has now become publicly exploited and as socially acceptable as shaking hands.

And, too, the examples we see via the media has consistently proven to us that affairs are acceptable and that loving partners forgive. Is this giving the impression to our children that cheating is 'okay'? That if we cheat, we are to be forgiven and abolished of all fault and blame? Or that, if we are cheated upon that we are not 'loving'  partners if we don't accept and forgive?

The result? No one is immune from having the surrender to temptation disrupt their lives, or the lives of those they care about.

The subject of this article is to bring to focus that affairs are not just personal, private matters anymore. Infidelity is an issue that society in general, needs to claim. It is an issue based on lower morals and indiscriminate media. It affects all of us, not just a select few.

~Tigress Luv
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