|Tips for Creating a Successful
Personal Online Dating Profile
Tips for Creating a Successful Personal
Online Dating Profile
Your profile is the key to meeting your
perfect match at online dating and personals services so its surprising
that many profiles are mediocre at best. With a little extra time, thought
and effort, and the help of these tips, you can make yours a winner and attract
a large pool of admirers to take your pick from.
Invent a distinctive username:
Your username (nickname) is the first
hint at what kind of person you are. It needs to be original and memorable,
while somehow summing you up - not easy in a dozen letters or so!
For ideas, think about your interests,
background, location and personality. For instance, an outgoing person from
Phoenix might choose PhoenixSparkler, an avid skier with a wild streak might
be SnowTiger. Humors great (I recently spotted MissBehaving) but overly
sentimental (LetMeBeTheOne), meaningless (Vyc2DX) or desperate sounding
(SoLonelyInOhio) names are a turn off.
Give yourself time: think of a name before
sitting down to complete your profile, as well as a couple of backup options.
Its amazing how many original names are in use already.
Most services spit out alternatives but theyre usually unimaginative
and full of numbers.
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Write a compelling headline:
Your opening line, or headline, is like
the first thing you see on an ad: it should compel people to read on and
find out more about you. Dont be apologetic about being there - I
dont normally do this sort of thing - and dont begin (as
thousands do) with My names Bob, Im 25 and live in
Boise. This isnt compelling. Its not even interesting.
Born in Boise, Heading for Barbados is more the thing. Its
intriguing without being confusing, and raises questions: is Bob a traveler,
a dreamer or working for an international company? Only one way to find out
Again, its not easy. If you get
stuck, a favorite line from a song, book or movie can say lot about you
who you like and/or what you believe in - and stands out to other people
who love it too.
Post at least one photo:
For 75% of online daters, the photo is
the first thing they look for when browsing through profiles. Not surprisingly,
profiles with photos get ten to fifteen times the response of those without.
Including a photo is a must! But beware, some photos do more harm than good.
Big offenders are photos that show you with someone else, or even worse,
part of someone else. (It might not be your ex, or your exs body part,
but people have no way of knowing.)
If you dont have a suitable photo,
get one taken, and keep it real - glamour shots could come back to haunt
you. Think about asking a friend to pick out a photo that they think looks
most like you. Make sure people dont have to squint at the screen to
see what you look like, and be sure to smile!
Check the right boxes:
Most profiles have a hefty component
of check boxes age group, sex, and so on. Its a basic thing
but when researching sites I do it a lot myself: check the wrong boxes or
forget to change them from a default setting that isnt right for me.
And Im not alone. Believe it or not, a common mistake among online
daters is choosing the wrong sex of their ideal partner. So, take care over
these basic but important details.
Check your grammar and spelling:
You might be the most intelligent person
on the planet but if you rush your profile and dont check your spelling
and grammar youre not going to come across well to anyone who values
intelligence. You might like to prepare your freestyle entries using a program
with spelling and grammar checkers, then paste them into your profile.
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and some tips for setting it up.
Unfortunately, a lot of people say the
same thing in the same way as everyone else. Its boring at best and
unbelievable at worst. Can we really believe that so many people exercise
regularly and keep in good shape? Also, use a thesaurus to replace
well-worn words like good and nice with more interesting,
meaningful alternatives that add spice and sparkle to your profile.
Make your meaning clear:
Your spelling and grammar might be perfect
but sometimes your words can convey a completely different meaning from what
you intended. Give your profile a thorough reading to avoid potentially
embarrassing or damaging misinterpretations!
Stick to your own style:
Many online dating profiles include sections
where you can express yourself in your own words. Its a chance to make
yourself more human and real, and other members can pick up lots
of interesting information about you clues they might find appealing
- from the way you express yourself. Dont block the process by suddenly
adopting a style and tone that isnt really you.
Focus on your unique qualities:
Its our unique qualities that make
us attractive - and to some, very attractive! When you have a chance to describe
yourself, let these qualities shine. Skip the things that people take for
granted (and have in common) and focus on the things that make you,
Perhaps you speak another language, have
an unusual skill or interest, or something you feel passionately about. Small
things count too. If you change your hair color every other day or have an
addiction to triple hot chili sauce, say so. People who share or appreciate
your unique qualities will tune right in and they make great conversation
starters if they decide to make a move!
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is too vague.
Flatter yourself its
If youre good at something or proud
of yourself for something, go ahead and blow your own trumpet. Confidence
(not to be confused with a raging ego!) is an attractive quality and there
are plenty of ways to flatter yourself while sounding modest: My friends
or, If I had to describe one thing about myself
that I like
Many people cant resist the urge
to be less than completely honest when writing their online personals profile.
Women tend to lie about their appearance and men about their status and physical
prowess. Theres really no need. Online dating and personals services
have thousands if not millions of members. Youve got a great chance
of meeting someone whos attracted to the real you, warts and all. Of
course, theres no need to tell your darkest secrets just keep
it real. Youll be able to pursue relationships without having to worry
about all the lies youve spun. Honesty is an attractive trait.
Be passionate about your passions:
If you have a hobby or interest that
youre absolutely passionate about, that takes up a lot of your time
and energy, go ahead and rave about it. Its better that people know
up front how important it is to you, and fellow fanatics will tune right
Be careful with humor:
Humors great but a super-dry or
tongue-in-cheek sense of humor may not work well in writing. People dont
know you and cant see the twinkle in your eye. Youll have ample
opportunity to display your brand of wit when youre communicating
one-on-one with other members.
Say it with feeling:
Too many profiles read like a job application
with flat phrases like, I enjoy skiing, cooking and photography
which dont really tell us much. Add emotions, thoughts and feelings
into the mix. The idea is to showcase your personality and make a connection
on an emotional level.
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Our bugbears say something about the
type of person we are but keep them to a minimum in your profile or theyll
say something bad! Focus on the things that make you feel good and you'll
come across as a fun date.
Dont dwell on past
Too much talk of past relationships is
a sure way to scare off potential dates. It doesnt show much commitment
to moving along in life with someone new. However, some services touch on
the subject in their profiles in which case you can give it a more interesting,
positive twist by talking in general terms about lessons learned, where you
are today and what your hopes are for future relationships.
Describe your ideal match in your own
If you have an opportunity to describe
the type of person youre looking to meet in your own words, use it.
If someone reads your profile and likes you, theyll know right away
whether or not theyre a likely candidate for your affections. On the
other hand, dont be too picky or demanding! One idea is to limit yourself
to the three or four attributes that you value most in a partner and perhaps
one big turn off (you want to keep it positive overall).
Describe the kind of dates you
Make it easy for people to ask you on
a date by giving them an idea of the kind of dates you enjoy. For instance,
I like a relaxing atmosphere where you can chat and get to know
someone, or, Doing something new and exciting together is a great
way to get to know someone.
Promote yourself as a great date:
When someone likes what they read in
your profile, theyll probably wonder what kind of date youd make.
In other words, you seem interesting and attractive but would you be the
date from hell? Put this question to rest with upfront information that paints
a great picture of what it would be like to date you. For instance, perhaps
youre a good listener who likes a quiet, relaxing atmosphere where
you can talk and get to know someone, or a sociable energetic type who thinks
that doing something new and exciting together is the best way to get to
When your admirers know youre on
the same page in terms of dating style, theyre more likely to take
the next step and ask you out, or at least to get to know you better, confident
youll be a great date. And if your dating styles are completely out
of tune, at least youve avoided finding it out the hard way - on that
date from hell.
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avoid! eg. MEGASTUD!
Create a Master Profile:
Save all your profile information and
entries in a master file so you dont have to start from scratch if
youre planning on using more than one service. Profiles vary considerably
from service to service but many parts will be similar.
Last but not least, dont forget
that your profile isnt written in stone! Its fast and easy to
make any changes you like, so dont fret too much about perfection!
Copyright Caroline Mackenzie
Caroline Mackenzie is
Co-Owner/Webmaster of The Dating Muse, a guide to online dating services
and personals featuring reviews of the top online dating sites plus tips
and ideas for finding friends, dates, soulmates and sexual adventure online.
You can visit her site at
subscribe to her newsletter at
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