acceptance, and forgiveness....
my thoughts by Tigress Luv
Hi everyone. Someone
recently wrote me an email inquiring about the difference between anger,
acceptance, and forgiveness. I am sorry I didn't get back to them, but recently
had some personal problems that prevented me from answering my emails. So
I apologize for my lapse in response time.
I believe it is so possible to find
forgiveness, BOTH (key word) for yourself and for your ex. You are
both human, and humans
mistakes. Right? You messed up, your ex messed up. So what! Are we not all
far from perfect entities? Yes, you can find forgiveness, but forgiveness
doesn't necessarily mean that what you are saying is that it was 'okay' that
they hurt you/cheated on you/beat you - or whatever. It is just saying that
you forgive them for 'whatever' because they are only human and humans make
mistakes. What most distinguishes us from other animals are - unfortunately
- greed, lust, pride, and the uncanny ability to reason and rationalize
everything we do to satisfy our wants (often mistaken as needs)...hence,
we are only human and human's make mistakes. So, yes, it is very possible
to find forgiveness to someone who has wronged you, and for yourself,
too...without saying that what they did (or you did) is
Secondly, it is very hard to find
forgiveness without first finding acceptance. Acceptance is in realizing
that you and others have the 'right' to be who they are, and to want what
they want. Even if it goes against your wishes, wants, and desires - they
still have the right to pursue their own course in their own life. Peace
comes when you accept that they have the right to do just
But, now anger - anger has a way of
growing in you like a demon and undermining all your well-meaning efforts
to forgive and accept - and move on. Anger is usually the first emotional
expression of grief. It simply means you are grieving a situation's or person's
control over you. If you experience a loss through death you may get angry
at God for stealing control over your desire to keep the loved one with you.
If you experienced a divorce because of infidelity you may get angry for
your lack of control over the situation. Anger is a perfectly normal, acceptable,
and welcomed part of the grieving process. It would be absolutely ridiculous
to believe you shouldn't be angry about a failed relationship. You worked
hard at your relationship, gave it so much time, accepted it into your life
as a very special part of it.
Sometimes, when we feel consumed by
anger that seems to be centered at someone else, it really is misdirected
anger at ourselves. Such as the woman who is angry at her abusive husband.
Could it be misdirected anger at herself for not finding the strength, willpower,
and courage to cut free of him? Could she be angry at herself for allowing
him to steal her dignity and self-esteem? These are angry emotions that can
be misdirected to another source. They don't benefit you at all. They don't
incite you into action, or release injustices. They just burn hate into your
very heart and soul, consuming your inner peace and joy.
Again, this is just my opinion. Hugs
to all! Tigress
out my webBooks now! You'll be glad you
is Everything! Here's what to do when you lose theirs
Hurting? Learn how to break
free from their spell
My Breakup Blog
My Big Breakup
The Zodiac Man
STOP a Breakup
Curl her toes with these tips and techniques!
Makes You Irresistible?
Red Hot Love
Woman's Guide To Dating
Jerks Guide. Muscle Building Program To Attract Women
MEMBERS' BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS
Guy Gets Girl!
How To Be
Broken Heart Repair
Get Your Ex Back
Why Women Cheat
Why Women Dump Men
Breaking Up With a Narcissist Forum